I realize I haven’t posted here in a while but my only exciting update is that I have a blood blister on my ankle
Malachi learned how to pick his nose tonight, so of course Christopher taught him how to flick it. And all the sudden he’s a fast learner?
Christopher bought me a card in 2019 and has given it to me every year since.
Something like: he gives me the card, I think I’ve never seen it before, “thanks, Chris!”, he steals it back, puts it in the drawer, gives the same to me the next year.
“Benefits of marrying someone with memory issues,” he says. HAHA not wrong
The only* bad thing about not being a lesbian is whenever there’s a long hair in our house (in the food, in the drain, in the chip bag???), it’s definitely my fault. I have no one to blame and everyone knows
In the shower I thought of a fake scenario:
I’m pregnant and it’s a boy (praise). Christopher really wants to name him Frank, but I don’t want to unless we name him Frankenfurter and call him Frank. wouldn’t that be so funny
$1.50 that Christopher doesn’t laugh
Things I've taught Malachi that are showing up recently:
wiping his most (snot) on his shirt sleeve. It makes my mother scream (like she did at me) and makes me so PROUD. my boy
bending over his plate to eat like a dog. I was only doing it to be silly then he started hahaha. this one might get me in trouble
I'll add more to the list, I'm sure. standby, you guys
I have a new tea (hot cranberry spice) that I would never think would taste good but TURNS OUT it tastes exactly like pesto pasta. couldn’t be happier
I say this every winter, but it’s worth repeating: being paralyzed in the winter is great because my hands are [always] popsicles and I can sit on them, put them under thigh, warm them on my belly and I won’t feel the cold on my skin. Only the warm. it’s the beEeEest
Christopher doesn’t read my blog, so I can brag about me and Malachi‘s break-glass-things–then-clean-it-up-or-buy–a-replacement-before-he-notices skill. I’ve never been able to hide anything from him before, so I’m very excited about it. We just broke our 9th thing! but he found out about the 6 plates
(the only, maybe?) Perk of having memory problems is I can watch a tv show, forget about it, then watch it LIKE NEW 6 months later. This might be the third time for this show! who knows, really
I have a rain shower head in my shower that I can only get halfway out of (to put soap in my hair, etc.), so at least my right leg is under the water at all times.
Makes sense?
So when I try to shave it, the soap sunsets off immediately and it is futile. So I don’t even try anymore. So THERE’S MY EXCUSE for a hairy right thigh and the rest is shaven. if anyone ever notices I can send them to this blog post.
I just discovered a hack to trick myself into hanging my laundry: take it out of the dryer while it’s damp so that it’ll mildew unless I hang it now. I just wash, dry, folded a load all in the same day for the first time in as long as I can remember
If I’m cooking for you, guarantee there will be a hair. Cooking for family? Laugh it off. Cooking for guests? We’re all eating Kristin’s hair. it’s ok, I don’t cook often
BUT WHEN I DO……………a hair Malachi learns this with banana bread this morning
Christopher and I both work from home and we share an office but still somehow I feel lie I need to wave “bye” every time I leave my desk (bathroom, snack, for Malachi, etc.). It’s my toxic trait? Or it’s just reeeeally sweet. he ignored it a lot
I make Malachi tots every day for lunch, knowing he doesn’t like them, knowing he won’t eat them, knowing I will. Why can’t I just put the tots on my plate and skip the drama, I dunno. it’s denial, somehow
I woke up at 3am, excited to write on this blog “I dreamed about eating nuts, then when I woke up my stomach felt full of nuts. Dreams are wild, man.” But now I’m awake and in hindsight it’s not very cool or special. But here I am, being true to myself (?!)
Christopher and Malachi went to my in-laws for dinner without me (my choice, it’s ok) and I absolutely feel single again. It’s like I entered another dimension. Me and Achilles are in the house alone, I’m eating popcorn, and watching Netflix. Sounds great, is not great. They’ve been gone for two hours and I am NOT HAPPY as a single woman. why am i so dramatic
— note that I’m only wearing them on days I don’t leave the house —
AT WHAT AGE is too old to still be wearing my high school field hockey and high school Key Club shirts? At what age is that almost predatory?
I’m 34 now and I don’t think it’s that bad but a 40 year old with that shirt on? Do I stop when my son reaches high school age? They still fit fine so there’s no stopping me??
Wholesome family new years
(what was it LIKE to go out on New Years Eve, I don’t even remember)
