If I lip sync Beyonce towards Achilles I think she thinks it’s my voice. This is exciting!!!!!
I want my house to be the same color-theme as my antibiotic (spider bite) so have to make decisions and pick out fabric before I take all the pills. This is a high stress situation
I would like to see a tracker for how many times I have said “God thank you for Douglas” in a prayer. The number would be high!
my doctor found fang marks next to my arm’s spider bite. it is cool I might get a tattoo jk
The red swell (+red wound) on my forearm is from a spider bite(?) but I’ll tell everyone it was a bear
Finding the right time to eat raw nuts at my work desk. That means leaning my head all the way back and dumping a palm of RAW NUTS in my mouth. just like when the trash truck empties a trashcan in its trunk except mine has monounsaturated fats! it’s a job within a job. Leelee caught me
this is a recurring problem
when I’m sitting at stop lights I like to get involved in other people’s lives. Arguably too much? The man next to me eating pretzel chips made a funny uncomfortable face when he saw me staring I wish I could get a picture
one of my best friends in college turned out to be the worst, worst. Revenge is not sweet so I never took any but I declined her LinkedIn connection invitation so I’m getting revenge now I guess. HA, HA
