I’ve identified the greatest feeling: lying down and being reeeally sleepy. I’ve been taking NyQuil to get rid of a cough and I love that part of sickness because it’s drowsy medicine. hehe I love it (but the cough is annoying ok)

As a homeowner/adult/mama, the highlights of my week are running the dishwasher, the robot mop/vacuum, and starting the laundry. ??????

(and seeing Malachi smile! and giving Achilles her daily Greenie! cleaning is just very exciting and satisfying!) compare me to 5 years ago, it’s weird

The problem with a tigh gap while sitting down is I can’t carry popcorn on my lap without kernels falling through my legs and eventually I sit on them. (ew?) but really why do people want this

How to lose weight while you shower (I was just in the Fat Burn Zone for all 22 minutes!):

make the water hotter than you like it, then get used to it. then stay in for a long time

Kristin’s weight loss program so far includes: have a fever and waste water. !!!!

I’ve always said I’m not going to let myself “let go” (stop caring about what I look like because I get comfy) once I get married but then I caught myself wearing a nude color bra almost every day for the last year. I’ve let go.

(placed an order for a just as comfy but different color, don’t worry)

• it’s after 2pm and

• I forget to eat lunch.

• I don’t want to eat, but I know Christopher will ask what I had and not like that I skipped.

• So I eat something,

• but all day he never asks.

• it’s very annoying, second time this week

I met my heart rate goal times four today!

Weight loss tip: have [what I think is] a fever.

Malachi stands taller and can reach things better in his walker, so we’re finding things throughout the house/on the floor: 

a cup of applesauce in the laundry room

my catheter in the closet

wasabi Peas by the refrigerator

an empty water jug by my nightstand

my mail scattered in the living room.

— I freakin’ love having a kid

When Christopher leaves the house I turn into a different person: clapping, talking loud, singing the US Air Force fight song top volume, and narrating everything. Also I immediately go to the pantry and eat something. He doesn’t hold me back (at all) when he’s home but it’s something about being ALONE (with Malachi) and acting like a fool & fat kid

“Ew, why do you put poop on your lips?”

Christopher doesn’t like the smell of my chapstick. It’s not POOP. It’s coconut! Hahahahaha

I’m constantly putting on outfits that are not cute because “ I’m taking a shower this morning and I’ll put on a new outfit afterward, so I don’t wanna waste something that looks good on ~2 hours,” then next thing I know it’s 8pm and I haven’t showered yet. So, I just keep wearing ugly outfits. Today it’s polka dots. I’m wearing polka dots, who am I

I just got out of the shower, looked at the clock (18 minutes), and thought “oh, a quick one.” Am I at a stage higher or lower in life than when they took 10 minutes?

some people take vacations, I take 20 minute showers (don’t tell Christopher) (he knows)

I’m calling protein “p-teen” and pancakes “p-cakes” and Christopher hasn’t made me stop yet. HAHA how much will be too much? Malachi has a pineapple toy, so I’ll try “p-apple.” standby. how far can I take this

- maybe I’m getting carried away, but -

I buy Malachi clothes that don’t fit him (too big) so he’ll be able to wear them for a long time. (He’s 10 months old and) Now he’s wearing size 3-4 years, but I just bought 4-5 year old shirts. whaaat, Kristin

“Carried away,” or “so economical?” Baby/toddler clothes are so cute and fun. now he can wear them for yeeeears and years

I still cry sometimes, I just cry when I look at Malachi because I love him so much. When will I normalize

Malachi cries when I sing literally any other song(?!) but he doesn’t when I sing the United States Marines fight song??? stop, nooo

My husband, the nooormal one, lost track of time because he was watching a movie. I lost track of time because I was listening to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. It’s like watching a MOVIE does anyone agree with this

The saddest part of my winter this year has been trying to turn the water hotter while I’m in the shower, and it’s already as hot as it goes. 

(so, it has been a good winter. but this is still bad)

I tried taking a nap today (we’re trying new things!):

• I put Malachi to sleep

• Went to the bathroom

• Packed a Wake-Up snack (popcorn)

• Set my phone to airplane

• Lured Achilles into bed with me 

• then I just laid in bed for 20 minutes, eating popcorn. Good effort, girl

At what point in my marriage did I go from “I really like this man so I want to impress him” to “ I’ll just wear my garbage shirt because the only person that’ll see me today is Christopher?”