Sometimes if I’m in an emotional mood and I listen to the Lemonade album I can cry because I feel so sad for Beyonce. seriously what am I
I went on a date and it went well and we had fun then he kissed me on the cheek at the end. so I am in Colonial Williamsburg
I ordered more business cards and I tried to make them look more professional I TRIED. so I found Achilles’ most serious-looking picture to put on the front. take me seriously? buy my book.
Moments before it fell and shattered on the ground. Achilles licked it up as fast as she could so that’s going to be fun. ! RIP red wine Santa
I met a guy yesterday who is fairly attractive but also whatever so I tried to scare him away by saying I want to MARRY HIM and have his babies. but hahahahahaha he just laughed. good thing or a bad thing?
Achilles is trying so hard to sleep but I keep kissing her shoulder blade I don’t know why
I’ve started a new thing where I don’t respond to people who flake on me via text message because 1. STOP FLAKING ON PLANS VIA TEXT and 2. it doesn’t allow me to be mega nice to people who are mean and making me a doormat. So far I’ve only had to do it once and it was real hard. But also kind of exciting
I’ve been to 3 Christmas parties so far this year and for all of them I’ve tried to bring someone with me but it has never worked out so I end up going alone. But all 3 parties I’ve had the BEST most fun time and I’m so happy I went by myself. Lesson learned? : be alone
contrary to belief, I’ve been living in my house for over a year and I still drive into the garage wall sometimes
I matched on Bumble with a very attractive man named Elliott but I can’t take him seriously because he has the same name as my childhood stuffed animal: Elliott the Elephant
