a trick:
Talking with an attractive man via FaceTime last night and I was wearing my glasses, cami, size L flannel shirt- my jammies (setting the bar low). so when I meet him this weekend I can wear a t shirt and I’ll look dressed up?
I feel very tricky but I might just be lazy.
If I knew I could have swEET POTATO FRIES for DINNER I would have been living alone since I was 5
I thought I was being very sneaky for the past year with diagonally-slanted blinds in my windows that let me see outside, people not see inside but I left my light on at night and drove past my house and I could see everything.
Everything.
It looks like I don’t even have blinds on the windows. What do my neighbors know about me
(I didn’t close the blinds)
Achilles and I were having a Bruno Mars dance party in my living room (is in front of a large front window) and a car stopped and sat in front of my house, drove away when I stopped dancing. HAHA perfect
- - a “dance party” with a dog. who does that
I’m to the point where my friend - who works as drag queen at a club - calls it “tradition” when I show up to a show with a first date. These are my golden years
Audrey is 1,300 miles away going on a first date at the same time as I’m going on a first date and it feels like I’ve made it to the top
Everyone else (according to Instagram) is doing cute things on the snow day like sipping hot chocolate and reading by the fire. On this snow day I’m excited about wearing black+navy in peace
Bobby says I’m losing my hair because I’m malnourished. (I think he’s right) no more routine meal-replacing tea or tangerine. Learn my lesson
I thought I was being very sneaky for the past year with diagonally-slanted blinds in my windows that let me see outside, people not see inside but I left my light on at night and drove past my house and I could see everything.
Everything.
It looks like I don’t even have blinds on the windows. What do my neighbors know about me
I’m lying in bed next to the silhouette of Achilles humping my sham pillow at 12am. I am raising a teenage boy
I didn’t realize how much I care about correct who/whom usage until a man used it correctly and I fell in love with him
I don’t have a Christmas tree decorated yet, haven’t put up any decorations, but I listened to Christmas music while I made apple pie moonshine today. That counts, rightttttt
Today at church I introduced myself as “Kristin Beale” (hold out my hand for handshake) “I follow your girlfriend on Instagram.”
and I’m having a HARD TIME with this because all day I’m lamenting on how laaaaame and Millenial I must have sounded
surest sign that I’m talking to a quality man:
2 month and STILL NO dick pics. it is a relief
my newest first date ice breaker:
my favorite band is Owl City. (hahahahaha) (it’s not, but great test)
Mom told me to shave my armpits because “what if you meet an attractive boy.”
(we’re on vacation) (armpit hair is the best part of vacation)
I have 2 beds in this (GREAT) hotel room. Uses: Left bed for nights with a day shower, right bed for nights with a shower before bed. Or should I do odd/even days? This is fun in Florida
the bank doesn’t verify my information with transfers/withdrawals anymore because we made friends (the teller bought my book) and I guess they trust me enough now. this is a win