The effect that moving to the country has is I want to disconnect from everyone. Quit social media and throw away my phone.

never been tempted to before? why is that an impulse? I won’t, but I’m tempted

I finally got to hear Galaxy (our cat) peeing in the litter box. I’m very excited about this. right place, right time

[I’m blessed and spoiled because] Christopher raaarely snores and when he snores it’s never loud. But when he does I nudge him awake then lay very still, sometimes fake sleep-breathe so he won’t know it was me.

Then that sometimes makes me giggle but he wears earplugs to bed so it doesn’t give me away. Also he wears earplugs because I snore so I have nothing to say about this

We moved I to our new house yesterday(!) and I’m having FUN WITH FIRSTS.

• first avocado toast

• first floss

• first poop

• first sleep

• first vitamin swallow

  and my list is so long. Christopher’s enthusiasm about it is waning.

  I had the same amount of “lasts” in the old house, but my feelings were more complicated back then

-- we're moving this week, so I'm uncovering a bunch of old stuff. 

found -  goals for one night, April 21st. attn: ignite a divorce; convince someone you are their sister then invite on a date; lose 3 pounds

I think about other people’s death a lot, since I was a teenager. Not KILLING other people, but with them dying early. Specifically Achilles when we go to sleep at night. I get scared she won’t be alive when I wake up, so I rub her and rub her and rub her until my hand hurts and I’m asleep. My fears benefit others, but they rule me

My mom just said she loves me more than poop, so. How much does yours love you?

(my other sponsor child got married) (?) so I just started sponsoring the most beauuutiful girl through Compassion International. Trying to write her a letter and I can’t stop being awkward. I just can’t. It took 20 minutes to write 4 lines then I attached a picture of Achilles, so maybe that'll help

"you're really pretty. I wish I could be with you"

"your smile is good. how do you have fun?"

"what kind of games do you play outside?"

somebody help

Someone named CRUNCHY CHLAMYDIA friend requested Christopher on Discord. (he blocked them, for some reason tho)

I’ve called Christopher “Baby Joe” six times today I don’t know why but it’s so funny. I love them both so much I can’t keep them straight. It’s sweet, if you think about it?

I went to a restaurant for dinner and ordered just brussel sprouts (?). Thought the man at the table next to us literally pooped his pants. Then the smell followed us out the door. Then into my car. THEN I REALIZED it’s my takeout box of sprouts. Hahahaha, it smells like actual poop

The most exciting things in my life right now are

1. moving houses in less than a month

2. submitted manuscript for book #4

3. marathon season is coming up and I’m doing 2, maybe 3 this year

4. how soapy my hands get when I wash them for at least 20 seconds and how good that feels. and it’s free

Christopher and I pulled our back muscles at the same time it was so cute

Where some other(/the average?) couple might take a shower and put on some kind of sexy or appealing lingerie for Thor spouse at bedtime, I take a shower and rub Vaseline on my whole face. My entire face, 3 layers, so it doesn’t soak in until long after we’re asleep. It’s my favorite part of the day don’t expect me to give that up

I had a nightmare that Christopher was yelling and throwing shoes at me, so my heart rate was in the fat burn zone.

- I have a large pile of (9 pairs of) shoes in the middle of our bedroom floor that I'm probably feeling guilty about not throwing away. procrastination**

- but I got to the fat burn zone so can we do this again

Some girls have “period underwear,” but I have “period pajamas.” These are my pajamas that are so uglybutcomfy that it doesn’t matter Christopher isn’t attracted to me because I’m on my period anyway. so I can be comfy and ugly. I’m gamin the system over here

Christopher says he can smell that I’ve been eating Doritos (“from across the room,” but I’m not believin that) He says the same thing about my Oreos but I put them in the FREEZER now so there’s no stopping me

I push on Christopher to wake him up when he snores at night, but then I lay there petrified that I’ve woken him up. Then I’m awake because I’m going through all these emotions, and here I am typing a blog post under my covers at 3am

(This may not sound significant, but it is because I wear a lotta t shirts)

I officially buy one size up from the size I wear because I care more about being comfy than looking just right. Subconsciously I did it, consciously I’m applauding myself

One of my favorite parts of living with Christopher is how he doesn’t fuss at me for how long my shower are (avg. 16 minutes). It’s like I wash every strand of hair separately